Growing Up
Posted by Amy in Clinical on January 10, 2011
As a military brat I've learned that it takes a full year to feel at home in a new place. It literally takes 12 months to make friends, learn the names of streets, find shortcuts to your favorite restaurants, and get settled into a routine. I found the same to be true for nurse anesthesia school. While being a student nurse anesthetist is, in itself, an exercise in stepping outside of one's comfort zone, I finally began to feel comfortable with my surroundings and the expectations that are placed upon me in the OR once I wrapped up my first year of schooling.
Big mistake. Big. Huge!
I recently had a tough rotation where I felt like I couldn't do anything correctly. I returned home every night feeling stressed out, disappointed in my performance, and tired as hell. It took one particularly rough day near the end of the rotation to realize a very important lesson that I'd failed to embrace until now: The clinical expectations of a junior student are far different than those of a senior student. As a junior, you aren't expected to know very much at all about administering anesthetics. Because of this you're coached to deliver anesthesia in accordance with the preferences of your particular CRNA and encouraged to ask questions and garner your CRNA's approval before taking any action in the OR. As a junior, it behooved me to run my anesthetic plan by my CRNA, making any changes he or she desired before taking action. As a senior student, however, CRNAs are much more willing to trust your skills and planning and many of them expect you to deliver anesthesia as if they are not even there. I love it when my CRNAs take this approach, given that I will be delivering anesthesia without their help in just 8 or 9 months. However, I'm so accustomed to discussing my my plans by my CRNA (especially since some CRNAs still want and expect this courtesy!) and I've realized that, by doing this, it seems as though I'm unprepared or lack the knowledge needed to make independent care decisions. I'm working now to make the mental shift necessary to succeed as a senior but it hasn't been easy.
It's kinda like moving to a different town called "Seniorville". And while I'm happy to be here, it's been a challenging adjustment. But if Shaq can lead the Boston Pops Orchestra, I sure as heck should be able to make a minor adjustment to my clinical routine, right?!
# by Adam - January 11, 2011 at 6:45 AM
Great insight Amy. It takes courage too to admit to the world you are having trouble with some aspect of clinical. I think we all have been there, thanks for sharing your experience!